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tfios

 

This is the first time I have ever flooded post since forever. I have a whole lot of time today, that mainly explains it. And because I got time, I read a few more pages of John Green’s book The Fault In Our Stars which made me giddy and too excited. I never knew of it after I watched the trailer and have read quotes of John Green from his books on Tumblr. Out of curiosity, I took time to search it and viola! I am too lucky, I found a pdf file where I can delve and indulge into reading to my hearts content. Been too lucky, too to be able to download 17books of Nicholas Sparks’ and some of Paulo Coelho’s. Woooo! It’s been ages since I read a book, after the commotion we had few months ago. I have never been into reading as much as I used to, and thought of going back to it and fill myself with a bunch of ebooks to read and be a part of the story. 😀

I fell in love with the story, like this will be the second most favourite novel of mine! And will never wonder the movie will be my second most favourite after Nicholas Sparks’ “The Notebook”.

I can’t wait to finish the book soon and watch the movie sooner! Eeeeeeeee!

Hahaha! I am feeling butterflies! I don’t know why.. but I don’t wanna know why either, the last time I felt these I stuffed up. So I will just leave it be and will no longer rush on things. I will just let myself wander and be part of Hazel Grace and Augustus’ love story at the moment, in fact I already am.. I felt like I was there while reading the whole thing. Like this has been my stress reliever at the moment, too. Been too tired lately and felt like giving up and I do not even know what I am giving up either. LOL

I don’t wanna go there.. haha. I even felt like writing a novel earlier.. or maybe writing my whole story like an author writes his novel. There have been too many thoughts running around my mind that I can’t even find the thing how to start it all with. Almost feel asleep having hangovers after reading the story and all I still can remember thinking about finding my own “Augustus Waters” someday. Ha! There I go again, daydreaming. >_<

I am wish-eligible like Augustus and hope to find my “WISH” in time. Tahaha! Wooooo! I am getting carried away.. rather I am letting my thoughts take me everywhere. Like free flowing thoughts that scribbles everywhere in a blank piece of white paper that’s still clean and unwritten.

Ah! This whole roller coaster ride of emotions of mine actually. Inevitable and uncontrollable.. well for the most part, controllable but depends on what kind of emotions I have and I want to feel though which I am thinking doesn’t even make sense. Gah.

This phase of my life was just all about finding my other purpose. After what and where God took me few months ago, and the people I encountered with, I still am not sure where and when this roller coaster would end or this ship will finally drop the anchor and say, behold, this is the final destination! hahaha

But I don’t want that time to happen just yet, I am enjoying this ride/sail at the moment. Meeting people along the journey and learning from them, empathizing and sympathizing at the same time, spending time with them laughing and giggling and just talk about nonsensical stuff. There were also mean and not so nice people I have dealt with and wish not to deal with in the near future.. I have had enough of them bad ones. Or not really bad ones but not so nice ones that for sure are going through a lot of hardships, too that also have a hard time accepting and in denial of what they have and what they don’t. Also, people that are stuck somewhere and just let themselves be stuck there forever and let people feel the bad vibes. Err. I hate that kind of people. Not literally hate, hate is a strong word I reckon.. maybe just something I dislike.. coz these people tend to give you an effect that’s not so nice. Wooop.

Anyway, I think I need to stop right there before I’d get myself into trouble and talk about whatever my thoughts will tell my hands to type. I still, have these issues with someone, too. I don’t know if I’d send that person a message and open up about how disappointed and offended I was for all the things that he said and sent me sometime ago, and maybe he’s still thinking I am into him.. which was never reciprocated.. I mean come on, I don’t wanna treat people bad, I don’t wanna be nice just because I wanna be nice but because I am nice and friendly which oftentimes people misunderstood so much especially with men, like making them think or making him think I am so into him or in the hope of ending up with him which was not really the intent of sending him messages and befriending him. Meh. He sent an offensive and selfish message few months ago and well.. I have to stop! hahaha. Enough Mikee! 😀

I must resume to my reading and hopefully read some more. I was waiting for “great night” to happen earlier yet it never came. Just “good night” who’s here. Hopefully some nights in the future. And hopefully, I want to completely get done and over with things, with the past more particularly and precisely. I am making progress each and every day and I hope someday, one day will be here. I wanna spend my days laughing with someone worthy spending lifetime with. Someone I can be crazy and be serious with. Someone who will love hearing my laughs and snorts, someone who doesn’t mind my belch and farts and snores each night I get too tired. Someone who knows when to take a joke and make a joke and not make someone else’s fault or shortcomings become the joke and humiliate. Someone who really wouldn’t mind how I look in the morning when I wake up, even when I drool and smell stinky. haha 😀 and someone who will really mean when he says he don’t mind me overweight or chubby or skinny or ugly. Someone who would not care or mind my grammar and my Americanized English accent, someone who just appreciates my kisses on the forehead even though some find it awkward and people would say that kisses on the forehead are for grannies. Someone who don’t mind telling me how much he misses me and he loves me, someone who would get grumpy yet manage to smile at times and pretends to laugh at my dry jokes. Someone who means whatever he says, someone who won’t make me change and dress me up like a doll and walk with me a treat me like a “trophy”. Someone who’s not embarrassed walking around with me, someone who is proud to have me. Someone who’s not scared to admit and take his faults and shortcomings, someone who would put the blame on me whenever we have misunderstandings and someone who would not be ashamed in holding my hand or me leaning to his shoulder when I need it the most. Someone who will put his pride aside and let love take over. Someone who’s not a mind reader but feels, someone who’s not ashamed to cry and admit that he get scared and nervous and even freaks out. And most of all, someone imperfect but perfectly real. 😀

I thank you, bow. hahaha

Maybe that was way too much but there. That’s my wish. Someday, one day and someone will be here. 😀

I hope y’all have a lovely week peepulz.

Good night and God bless all of you. Besos! ♥

 

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sassymikee

We can't choose what stays and fades away. So cherish every moment, pray, love, live and laugh like it's the last. – Mikee Cane

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