Pain, Pain Go Away.

As I was looking at my photo, projecting a smile… Oh God, I tell myself. I wish you all knew, I wish I can tell y’all what I am going through.. or the things I have been thinking all these times, the feelings I have been keeping to myself. The experiences, challenges, struggles, pains I have dealt with. But that won’t matter, never will. I know there are a lot of people going through a lot, worse than me. So I guess it’s better this way hey?

When you’re told about wishing you’ll be living the rest of your life miserable and unhappy and tell you there’ll be nothing left for you.. or they’ll take away everything from you; like literally. But all I can say is there’s nothing left to lose anyway, just take everything coz only thing that I have these days that one can take away is this life I am living. I don’t have my family, no more family is waiting for me. I have nothing really, not anything that I can even call mine.

I am not really afraid if I would die anytime soon, coz there’s nothing left of me anyway but at the same time, even though life gives me reasons not to want to live my life, I still want to live. I may not have anyone or anything to live for, or I guess I have but not even sure if I am even reciprocated or I guess I still have a reason to live, not anyone else but myself and prove them that I will do it and I can do it. Life is what I make it, no matter if I will be miserable or not, it’s my choice. It’s my life. It’s always up to me.

For now, I am drenched and listening to The Carpenters’ songs which makes the roller coaster of emotions worse and worth it.

Oh I wish I will get over this pain soon as the year is ending soon, too and hoping for a better year this 2016.

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sassymikee

We can't choose what stays and fades away. So cherish every moment, pray, love, live and laugh like it's the last. – Mikee Cane

7 thoughts on “Pain, Pain Go Away.”

  1. You are never alone, and you are loved by God and by me your spiritual brother. Embrace God in all your thoughts and dreams for he hears your prayers, there are seasons in our lives, some of drought and some of plenty, and what we go through strengthens our spirits and hearts. I have been ill but I have not forgotten you. As you are in my prayers always. Here is a poem to lift your heart. Remember to love yourself first always and love God with all your heart and soul. Forgive yourself and anything done to you by another, and you will find inner peace. Here is a poem for you…stay strong and believe better days will come your way this new year!

    Faith In God

    As I found myself doubting yesterday
    Wondering what would become of me
    You came to rescue me in my crisis
    For you heard my cries and pleas

    You have never forsaken me dear Lord
    As I ate the daily bread each day you give
    Always teaching me to silent wait on you
    While you were showing me how to live

    For our lives are never really ours alone
    Since they still really belong to you
    So we should fully trust never wavering
    Always having deep faith within so true
    And though sometimes I become very weak
    Often wondering where my faith might dwell
    I will always stand firm on your holy word
    That my faith in your promise will not fail.

    With love i pray that your New Year will be blessed abundantly by His love, and that you will come to know to trust in Him as he leads you down the path to true life, one of selfless, genuine love…which only comes from him. Value yourself as a woman and never give freely to another what is uniquely yours and read the word…the spirit will guide you, and I will visit you ! Spiritual love, hugs and blessings to you always my sister!

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  2. i’m sorry for all you’re going through and i pray you find that you are never alone…God is always there…i know it can sometimes sound like a bunch of empty words,but it’s true, i speak from experience…He IS always there…sometimes it seems like He’s far away, but truth is, He’s there…what i found was He was there in what seemed like silence, but He was actually listening and holding me tight…it was me who couldn’t connect completely…i was looking in the wrong direction. when i finally realized i had to change my perspective is when i found He was always there…He is for you too…no man on the planet can be who He is, nor can they give what He has to give…i pray you feel His presence in a supernatural way that will fill you with His love to the point of overwhelming joy!
    i pray your pain is completely healed and you’re life changes so you can speak to others of the great God who loves you and wants you whole…
    i know these may be mere words right now, but please know me and others are lifting you in prayer and want you to know you are loved…i pray this new year is one of complete fullness of joy, love and healing…i pray He leads you in the direction that will fulfill your destiny and help you to meet the right people that will encourage and love you in the way you need most…
    you sound like a very sensitive and heartfelt person who wants the best for others…please see that others want the best for you too, and know you’re worth every bit of love and kindness that is due you…
    i wish i could say and do more…please know prayers, hugs and blessings are being sent your way …God bless you

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    1. Thank you ever so much for the lovely and kind words! Thank you! I know they’re just words but they’re a big help! Prayers and blessings will be sent your way, too! A blessed and prosperous New Year to you and your family!! ^_^

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      1. awww, believe me, i’m not one to just throw words around…i pray you have a beautiful New Year…you’re worth the beauty of what God has stored up for you this coming year…you’re precious in His sight and we (his kids) need to remind each other of that πŸ˜‰
        blessings x

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      2. I do believe you, and I appreciate it! Big time. I had a beautiful first day of the year, and I am sure I will have more beautiful days. So do you. Thank you for the kindness and more blessings to you! God bless you!!

        Liked by 1 person

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