When Death Comes

When death comes knocking on your door, are you ready to let it in?

Will you be able to say you’re good to go and leave your loved ones behind?

Have you by any chance done the things you always wanted before death comes?

Can you say staying on earth is all worthwhile?

How many people you made smiling? How many people you share your happiness with?

Have you told your loved ones how much they mean to you? Or you have to wait when death comes to tell them how much they mean to you?

Other than complaining and whining for what you despise and what you do not have every single day, are you able to thank God for the blessings even before death comes?

Did you ever tell someone how sorry you were for hurting them or you will just let them wait til forever to hear from you how much you regret hurting them?

This thought just came to me today when I saw “when death comes” somewhere on television.

I have been so silent all these times for I do not know what to share after all the things that happened lately.

Since it’s Lenten season, it reminded me of my experiences in the past from working for priest, the church and serving others.

It brought me back the whole time I was doing work for the church.. this cycle goes on every year. From January to December, all year through, I know how things are and memorize what to do (well not all of it but most of it).. and my not so favorite part is Lent.

Not that I hate the season but it’s seeing people go to church only because they have to.. sometimes humans take away the real essence of it.. it gets overrated and “too commercialized”. I am not complaining or anything.. just thinking out so loud. I have worked for the church some years ago and know what goes on there as well.

People repent only because it’s lent.. people cry every time they hear the 7 Last Words, people falling in line to kiss the foot of Jesus on the cross.. All these stuff for lent.. no offense meant for those who’s intentions are heartfelt and pure.

Do we really need to wait for lent season to ask for forgiveness and forgive people? Do we have to wait for lent to thank Jesus Christ for saving us? For getting Himself flogged and nailed to redeem our sins?

Why do we usually realise things when there’s only so little time to do it?

Why do we usually wait to cure it when we can prevent it?

This reminds me of the adage: A man who plans to pray on 11:00 dies at 10:30.

Some of us would only take action and realise to change more often than not when it’s too late. Why do we only appreciate when we only have the big ones? How about the lil blessings? How about the lil things?

I know, there are way lot questions that what I put on here that’s on my mind at the moment however I can’t put them into words so, that’s about it. 🙂

I am privileged and honoured to be alive, more humbled to have these experience and taught me a lot. I am not saying I am better than anyone.. I am just pondering and thinking out loud.

I hope everyone enjoy their time off and celebrate Easter with lots of love and blessings! ♥

 

 

 

 

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Thinking Out LOUD.

We all have our rights to express our happiness despite what happened in Tacloban and the neighbouring towns and provinces in the Philippines from the super typhoon Haiyan(Yolanda). We all sympathise and share our grieves but life don’t just stop there. That doesn’t mean that if people have happy updates they must be ridiculed and judged. Life goes on, we don’t have to stay and grieve all our lives and be sorry for what happened. It is what it is and we can’t change anything about it.
– Mikee Cane
*I sound desperate.. or maybe not desperate enough. I still have a lot of words to say but I refrain from saying it. I might say much and will only lead to people misunderstanding me or them giving their judgments once again. Anyhow, I really hope this trend about Yolanda will come to ease in the coming days. Eyes hurt seeing the negative views from the aftermath of the storm and more, from the social medias every where. Literally every where.. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and even here in WordPress. Don’t get me wrong.. we are all entitled for our rights but we must also remember to think before we click or even type. I just wanted to give myself a break from all the negative vibes surrounding me.
On the other hand, I am feeling drained at the moment and wanting to go to bed so bad. Haven’t been so productive today but what I did was worth it.
Ah! So glad I got through the day, well.. almost. Will still wait for my good friend’s call before I can finally hit the hay but while waiting, I might as well crawl to my bed and enjoy my pillows’ company.
Good night WordPress!

Numb But Not Heartless.

I am at the point of my life where I am too tired and fed up to care if someone will love me or not. I do not care much too much about having someone by my side to give me some loving and to give my love in to.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not being hard on myself, but it just boils down to the point that I have nothing much to lose that I am not afraid of losing anything. 🙂

Like yeah, I have family, but i have been to that situation where I have to turn down my ways; literally and technically turned my life around. Even my biological family.. no more attachments, no more grudges, no more connections, completely untangled the invisible thread that connects me to them. It has been quiet a while and I don’t feel hurt or not a single pain or tear I can shed for them. I have been burnt and hurt and become numb.. only numb, but not heartless.

I have a lot to give, like I will do heaps for the people I love but in a way, my fault was I let people abuse it and use it.

From all those pain and those heartaches, I somehow feel numb. Mind you, I still can feel. LOL.

I am human, my heart beats like a normal, typical human creation. It beats, it needs oxygen and I need sleep, too. My brain and my whole system needs what it typically needs. And oh, speaking of brain, I still have 70,000 thoughts inside me head that I do not know as to how to express it.

Well I am expressing some of it, but it wouldn’t sum it all up.. not all at once. Anyway, yeah.. That is what I am feeling and thinking right now. I have re-evaluated myself the past days, even had a lot of questions as to what I have to do more to be there and to get to where I want to be but I guess I will just let time and God lead me there and take the sail. I will let Him take charge of the rudder like before..

I am not tired physically or I am not being impulsive to let these all out, but I just had to. It’s like this is what I needed at the moment for me to be able to walk straight to the path where I need to go. To stand not for any one but for MYSELF. I have to be strong not for anyone but for myself, and this isn’t being selfish hey. I have my worse and good times and some things in between, and I will always remember this note and this day no matter how many ups and downs I will have in the future.

I don’t even expect much of finding someone at the moment. I will just savour the moment.. Whatever will be, will be. That will suffice at the moment. 🙂 It’s not settling for less either or that I deserve better than this, but it’s the closest to reality, and I have to remind myself of that all the time.

I have always been blessed and grateful to whatever happened to me, I have had the time of life looking back as to how far I have been and how many changes I have made and what I have become all these years. Living a simple life with Nanay and the family, I have pointed out the blessings God endowed me. For Nanay to always remind us of keeping our feet on the ground no matter what achievement we have made and the blessings and graces we have received. To remain humble and keep your head down no matter where we are but to know when to fight and when to be silent. 🙂

Having said that, doesn’t mean I will be mean or I will be hard on people. No, it’s not like that and I will always be open for whatever changes will come my way. I am not closing my doors to anyone either. I am not mad or angry at anyone or with a specific person, too and I have no right to be cruel to anyone. I have just decided not to care as much as I did before. That I have to also consider the thought that I don’t need someone to be strong.. I need God to be strong. I have a strong God. 🙂

Ah! That time of the day! LOL

Pour it out, pour it out! 😛

No matter what mood, grumpy or cranky, high and low times; I will keep my chin up. I have a big God up there!

:3

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Washing the germs with water. Wonder where they went? Heaven or hell?

Ah! That time of the day when I am having 70,000 thoughts all at once.

The poster I am sharing kinda signifies what I am going through at the moment, and I agree with it. Too many times I have heard those words, overrated, overused, and abused words by many. I have told people those words, too but I was so sure I meant it and I was sincere.

I feel betrayed. I feel like I am stabbed on my back so damn hard that I can feel the throbbing pain of the knife that’s used.. How can I let someone do that to me? Why the hell did I allow someone to do that to me when what I only wanted and needed was someone to give my love to..

How can one do that? What have I done to deserve all these? :/

Gee bloody wish! Where the hell did that come from? Teehee :3

Feeling really weird today.. Weird in the sense that I am not sure what to feel at the moment. Discombobulated? Anxious? Frightened? Scared? Unsure? I don’t know. It seems to me that as much as I wanted to be loved, there’s this fear that lurks on me and tells me not to. I am so afraid to be hurt again. Although I am saying I will take one day at time, but negativity just pulls it down.. I am really freaking out in a way.

Oh gosh! I am grateful storm had passed today.. We even had a lovely breeze this arvo after some rain. Felt Mr. Sun’s rays on me, too. A calm after the storm. 🙂

But my own storm is not calm just yet. I still have to get through some things and I am really hopeful I’d overcome these.

Dear God, lead me to Your ways. I seek for Your guidance and help. I am so lost tonight. So unsure and ashamed. :/

Emotions More Than Words.

If I cannot see your face, I will remember your smile.
I won’t fret coz you’re always with me, here in my heart.

– Mikee Cane

You have to lose in order to gain. And it literally means losing something. However, what you gain is more than that of what you lose. So grateful and blessed!

Spending time with someone whom you never spent time with anyone before is just so lovely. Mushy like I wanna melt but freaky in a good way to put it because of how things are at the moment. Freaky that things are falling to where they should be and in sync in such a short time. But hey, God’s timing is always the right timing, so I am savoring the moment! Thank you God for all of these! 🙂

Be Happy

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Hello y’all! Just a quick post for tonight. Still don’t have the connection just yet and using my data but that will suffice.

Had a great day today and just blessed for being able to wake up everyday and have all of these experiences. Thank you God for having me here. For this life and for the people around me.

For these things and experiences you blessed me with.

Feeling content in a way despite the challenges. Taking one day at a time, one step at a time; not even worried of the things I used to worry a lot with.

Talked to my “pork adobo” and just glad of how things are going these days.

I’m so grateful! 🙂

Whatever Your will be, will be Lord. Your ways and plans are greater than mine, Your will be done. 🙂

Good night WordPress! Y’all have a lovely day! God bless. 🙂

:/

We only see two sides of people; what we wanna see and what they show us, but we hardly see what they really are.

Just a quick post tonight. It’s been two days since I’ve used the mobile’s data. Don’t have an Internet connection just yet due to unavoidable circumstances.

*Sigh*

Gotta hit the hay and get some beauty rest. It’s been a long day today and the next days. :/

Hope y’all have a great day! Keep safe WordPress bloggers. 🙂