Farewell, Thank You.

The only people who fear death are those with regrets. – Anonymous

Last October 5th, Nanay had a stroke and we are grateful and we celebrate she’s alive, even if she’s not yet feeling 100% but we are far from blessed to know that she has no paralysis and no brain damage for the most part. Illness, may it be the most deadly and simple, you’ll really never know when it gets you. Same thing with death, you just don’t know when death really comes knocking on your door.

This morning I just learned that a friend passed away from stroke that they have to do a neuro surgery and led to complications and eventually he gave in and let go. Kuya Joseph, thank you for sharing your life to many. Farewell Kuya.

Today’s the Day of the Dead / All Souls’ Day as we call it in the Philippines. May this day and all of the days be a reminder for us to celebrate and cherish life; with our loved ones and friends. No matter how much struggle and atrocities we are in, be thankful for we are all alive and we are surrounded by great things and great people. Remember to be kind to one another, for we never know what battles each of us are going through and more, we don’t know when death is really coming. But before death comes, don’t waste life worrying and complaining for what you don’t have, don’t get stuck and throw life away regretting for what you could’ve done; instead be grateful you are alive and you’re loved and be happy.

Rest in peace Kuya Jhom, you will be missed and you will always be remembered. Your kindness will always be remembered. Thank you for reminding me once again of how great this life is.

Ah! Life..

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Mikee’s Musings and More :)

I have been on hiatus for posting a fraction of my thoughts lately not because I don’t have anything to say but I just didn’t have the time and I do not know how to even express it to start with.
I used to talk to someone for few weeks and didn’t end so nicely and pondered on what went wrong and how to improve to not let it happen in the future.

It’s somehow a bummer though to shut things down on a whim but I had to. It is not always easy walking away.

Walking away. Yes.
Just because of the term itself, it looked and sounded like it is so easy for others but it is not. Now I know and I understand how it feels.. And walking away doesn’t always mean fear alone but some times it means you’re done dealing with things and instead of complicating it you choose to end it. Why prolong the agony, right? But nah. It isn’t always like that. We tend to simplify things for our sake but in reality, walking away is never ever easy.

It also depends on the situation for the most part, relationship wise.

It reminds me of the saying what you see is not always what it seems.
Just because someone chose or opted to walk away doesn’t mean the person is not going through things as well. Each one of us, every individual has his/her own battles and not everyone sees it like that. Most of us think that the world revolves only around ourselves, that we are the only ones who’s going through a lot and we forget that others have their own struggles and battles, too.

I admit, I forget this sometimes and I give judgment to people but human as I am, I made mistakes, too. But I am thankful enough to have and be surrounded by people who reminds me that the world isn’t just about me.

However it saddens me that there are also others that really care less and sometimes, they don’t.

Others give you advices and say words and think that they are always right and say no offense meant or I don’t mean to be rude but they already are rude. Hahaha

Ironic, isn’t it? Sometimes people act and say things like they know everything. Oh sure, you do! But if we really look closer, do you really know what’s going on? Sometimes what we perceive isn’t always what it seems. We often act like we know who these people are but we don’t. Just coz we see people smiling doesn’t mean they’re happy or they’re okay.

This isn’t a relationship advise, however. I just want to blurt out on the things that have been running here and there in the puny corner of me mind.

This is just reality. And this isn’t just something that happened to me but surely it happened to anybody. May not be the same experiences but sure did happened. 🙂

And even with these mean people is going through something, too. I just hope and pray that they’ll somehow realize that it’s not about them and that walking away is never easy. I am not saying however that it is right, nonetheless. We all have different experiences and battles and hope that whatever it may be, if it can be resolved then we should before walking away happens.

But the reasons I had for walking isn’t just for myself but for the people that was involved. I never regret the choices I made however. I chose peace. I chose freedom. Freedom from the pain and freedom from the negativity of the people and the situation. It hurts leaving the people behind and shutting everything down but staying and holding on isn’t working.. So what’s the point? It wasn’t easy dealing every single day missing the people you used to be with. Not seeing them and talk to them like you used to. Hear them laugh and cry with them and cheer them up when they need it. Those lil things. It wasn’t easy getting used to the pain of not having them.. It’s worse than losing someone through death. You know they won’t be there physically although it won’t apply to everybody. But to walk away with people who still exist physically and pretend that they don’t is not. So yeah. Where I am isn’t where I wanted to be but it is way better than where I used to be. Those experiences I went through was all worth it. It taught me a lot, and helped me understand myself and know what others have to go through. I am humbled and like I always say, I am not who I was. I have accepted the fact that we can’t always stay in other people’s lives.. We don’t always have to be with them but that doesn’t mean we can stop loving them and care for them. We still can but from a distance 🙂

There are still a lot of unspoken pains, regrets, love and a whole lot of emotions yet time will tell and time will let it speak for itself.

For now, I will continue what I have started and still strive for the bestest. Haha. All of these words can’t sum it all up but that’ll do for now.

On the lighter side, I am thankful for today! Yay! I have so many firsts. Hahaha

First time for a long time I feel like a real adult haha

Doing stuff for myself and pushing myself to do better and to do the things I so wanted to do for a long time.

Went to town with Nanay and cousin today and went to the bank to do transactions for my personal account and had a first and funny encounter with the bank’s Electronic Assitance for queues. I was looking for a slot where to insert the card when there’s none. Bloody hell! Hahahahahahaha

I was the 50th person to be called so I decided to go to the other branch and use the other machine for a certain transaction. I really don’t do well with machines! That was fun alright! Hahaha

First to work on a personal account and work on a project(hopefully will sort this out soon..i still can’t wrap my head around it yet but i will get there. I will make sure of that! Aja!)

What a lovely day! Thank you God for the blessings! I am enjoying this to bits. And with the matters of the heart, I am still working on it. No rush. Haha

Looking forward for the coming days.. I am not sure what’s next but this I say, BRING IT ON Daddy GOD!

Better Safe Than Sorry.

Anger: After it’s gone you’ll realize how cheap it was. 🙂

7:45pm, Sunday and raining.. we’re on our way to church and was listening to Ed Sheeran’s song..

Ah! How I miss this. I was in a vehicle and feeling the cold breeze and be under the rain.. watching the lights from the cars and jeep behind us.. staring at the lights, feeling the moment and pondering.

Just like the old times. 🙂

Thought to myself I need to update the blog tonight.. I need to spill it all out. My head can’t contain it anymore, so is my heart.

I really do not know what I want to say.. maybe I do but I just don’t know how to start.

I found a quote last night about anger and it has something to do with anger, too. Well I am not that “angry” but the person I know for some time was.

Realized it was really cheap.. I have been unfortunately been called names again. And apparently, I found out yesterday I have been checked.. as in checked if I am a scammer. Apparently I am not. 🙂

sassymikee scam.

Wow. Just wow.

I have lost a bit of hope in humanity at a point.

Seriously.

I don’t feel bad and I am not afraid coz I hide nothing.

I never used people for money. I am not some kinda random person who asks people for money and spend them for whatevers and use other names or invest the money and use dummies. Heck.

Just because there are a lot of people from the Philippines you have heard that scammed and used people from other countries for money doesn’t mean every Filipino/ Filipinas you meet are scammers.

It is the same thing with a situation like this: just because you picked a rotten tomato in a pile of tomatoes doesn’t mean all of the tomatoes on display are rotten.

I found out through WordPress that someone searched on the internet.. Oh well.

It was quiet overwhelming.. at first I thought it was overwhelming in a good way.. but as soon as it goes deeper, my gut tells me that I should move on and quit whatever I am doing. I couldn’t contain it and my heart, for the most part can’t take it anymore so I had to quit.

No matter how much I am honest and how much I open myself up to someone, it always ends up me being the bad one. Why the heck is that?!

How dare you call me a scammer and judged me from the facts you knew from me or from the things I told you and used it against me without even knowing everything?

It was some basic information I have shared and I haven’t even scratched the surface yet and then you throw something at me like that?

Just because your words weren’t reciprocated and all I did was be honest and gave trusted you and you being the doubtful one call me “cold”?

And I know, it’s really cheap of me if I continue to communicate with you.. and tell me a lot of things after I said you forget me and assume nothing has happened. So there you are, angry, and then you stabbed me with words that are not true and you try to collect some facts from the things I shared to you and jump to conclusion of how filthy and cold I am and that the people in the past were right and I deserve such treatment because I am a scammer! Hahahaha

I don’t know and not sure if what you told me were true.. I know you’re capable of tracking people and hacking one’s system but heck.

I hope you heard yourself when you said that.. and I hope that one day if you read that message again, maybe.. just maybe in case if you still have the copy of that, it will stab you over and over and make you realize what you just said. 🙂

I hope next time you’d learn to listen to what you will be saying, feel and think before you say something to someone coz words are sharper than swords. If ever I hurt you from the things I’ve said and done that I know was the right thing to do, I am sorry. Pardon me for doing such but I cannot bear it any longer.

Better safe than sorry.

We all are going through a lot of things. Every human being, we all have our sufferings. All unique, one of a kind.

We all are entitled to be angry and mad.. but that doesn’t mean you have the right to be cruel. I hope that one day, too you will learn to open up your heart and learn how to listen and learn how to differentiate liars from those who are honest. How to know when the people you’re dealing with are genuine or fake.

If you have been mislead by others in the past, I won’t blame you.. but that doesn’t mean that all of the people will do that to you. If  you will do that to everyone, you will only push those people who has pure intentions and want to share their life with you. You will only screw things instead of making it progress or even end it before it even begins.

I really really hope you’ll find happiness and forgiveness, too.

Please remember, too that when you’re angry, it is best to not say anything. Or else, you’ll regret everything. 🙂

 

An Open Letter to the People Who Hated Me From Ages Ago.

To whom it’s due:

I am not the kind of person who wishes people ill will.. but for whatever it’s worth, to the people who bad mouthed me, called me names; hated me, judged me and the family in the past, seeing your situation this very moment freed me from the hurt, hatred and gave me a whole lot of hope; not to mention forgiveness, too. I am not saying you deserve this, but I guess I am anyway. However, God will take care of everything. Nevertheless you are all accountable to the things you’ve done. Nature and the God-force will take care of you all.

I am not what you called me and labeled me. I am imperfect and I have flaws just like you. I have sinned, so do you. I may not have what you have but I have been blessed all these times. You will never be me as much as I will never ever be you. Do not compare yourself to me and stop comparing yourself to me as I am not you. I am unique and so are you. We all have reasons why we do the things we do but keep in mind that we do not have the same reasons and we do not have the same heart and mind. We do not have the same situation either. All of us are going through a lot but that doesn’t mean you have the right to demean and belittle others. I so have a lot of things to say but I will keep this short.

Apparently all of you are really choking on the sh*ts that you talked and worse, the things you told everyone about me and the family that were not true, those names you called me, those ways you hated about me, they’re all coming right back at you. Consequences are coming at you one day at a time. Other days, too slow but surely they are. I pray you’ll find your way out and seek God, find forgiveness, peace and love. I hope you learned from this experience, too.

All the best,

Mikee ☺