Pages 16-21 of 365: Hero

Baby needs some protection, but I am a kid like everyone else. So let me go, I don’t wanna be your hero. I don’t wanna be a big man. I just wanna fight like everyone else.

– Hero, Family of the Year

It’s been days since I have updated my book for this year. Feeling drained the past days, Nanay on the other hand needed some taking care coz she wasn’t feeling well, too. I was caught in doing work and looking after people and things that needs to be looked after. I missed a few days of writing the bits and bobs of things but will summarize them all at once. 🙂

There were too many thoughts I’ve always wanted to express but everytime I try to, I lost the moxie to do so. It’s like the wind, it comes and then it go as soon as I want to open my mind and heart. The excerpt from the song above just fits my whole feelings, it is so on point. I just wanna tell the universe or whoever I can tell that to.. To just let me go coz I am tired to be their hero. I feel tired fighting for life in a way, for people, for things all by myself. I don’t wanna always be the “big man” all the time, just like others, I am also a “baby” that needs protection and needs to rest. But unfortunately I have no one to protect me and to be in the “hero” position while I relax for a lil bit. I am not saying like there’s no God or no one really is out there.. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining here, or maybe I am but I think I have the right, I don’t get to complain all the time anyway. Hehe

Just as I thought I have someone, I get a big slap on my face that these “heroes” I thought and expected will walk with me and help me along the way don’t exist or only exist when they want to. I don’t know how to describe it but these people are only there when it’s convenient to them. Like they’ll only be there coz they need something and they want something from you. So I ended up being my own hero instead. Learning to be my own hero the hard way. It makes me wonder and reflect, too. I felt bad and get mad at these “false heroes” but in a way it made me ask myself the same question as to whether I have been a good hero to them or I am just being a hero coz I have to? Am I being a “false hero” myself, too?!

I don’t know if I make sense so yeah. From these experiences, it taught me to know where I stand in someone’s or in people’s lives. Coz if I know, and I stay where I am suppose to stay, there will never be a lot of expectations. Hence, less pain. Less expectations, less hurt. Saves me some energy. Hehe

On the contrary, I have been wondering and got too much questions in me head, too. From that time I decided to let go and move forward was the same time I started praying for the person whoever God meant for me. It’s odd, I know but it’s became a habit of mine to pray for him regardless of who that person is and where he is from. It’s like talking to him thru the wind, just that I never received any response yet coz I am not sure who he is and when he’s gon receive these messages. Haha

And having said that, I created a letter for “him” tonight.

Letter to the person God meant for me:

For the person God meant for me, whoever you are, I hope and pray, you’re strong enough to be your own hero and other people’s hero at the same time. That no matter how tumultuous life can get and how much exhausted you will be, you will still be that same hero God designed you to be. Just know, too that somewhere, in the Philippines, you my dear have a hero. I am adamant that you will be and will remain vehement and strong. I am keen to meet you.. In God’s perfect time and will. For now I will continue this journey by myself until we meet and be the hero for each other. Things are getting better on my end, I have learned not to rush into things and make use of the time while you’re not here. I have learned to never ever settle for less than what I deserve and up to this day, I always remind myself to do so. I have been self sufficient in so many ways, too. Doors and windows have been opened for opportunities and blessings I never thought will come, also, made friends with men and never expected much from them anymore and never see them men as “prospect” hoping “you’re it”. I have learned that it’s not like job hunting and neither a race and there’s a finish line or a deadline to meet. In time, we will get to meet. One day, we will be able to look after one another and be that hero and at the same time the baby both of us have to take care, pamper and look after. Yep, one day. One day, someday soon.

Until then, I will see you and meet you. 🙂

– Mikee

Alas! I already spilled more than enough.. Too much to say after days of hiatus hey? Haha

Until the next page peeps! I gotta crash and get some beauty sleep. (as if) haha

Hope y’all have a blessed day and a day full of love! Be inspired, be an inspiration, and be a hero. ❤

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Page 15 of 365

So this is what I will be doing from now on, I will try my very best to post one blog/updates a day.. Hopefully will continue this in the long run haha

We had a lil get together for the feast of the Holy Child Jesus like we always do annually. It was fun, seeing people happy and feeding them. Lotsa smiles today!

There was a lil tension this morning but not something unmanageable. I am just happy and blessed and grateful for what I have, who I am today and where I am. It’s nice to get a compliment, too from someone I met who is also a blogger that lives in the same town with me(I assume.)

Growing more and more through time with God’s overflowing love and grace.

Thank you God for the blessings! Thank you Sto. Niño for the continued help and guidance!

To God be the glory!

Know where you stand in someone’s life and when you do, you’ll know what to expect and whatnot; and more, it won’t hurt as much.

– Mikee Cane

Everyday Realizations

I already started the first page of 365 like everyone else but forgot to take them all down.. This isn’t something I’d like to do but might as well do it.. Hmmm.. Sounds a great idea.
Here, I started the 14th page or maybe not.. I cannot recall. Hahaha

Anyway it’s been a long tiring day today but have been productive so to speak.

Ah! Life and it’s ironies, idiosyncrasies and whatnots.

At the end of the day what matters is how much love you share and to how many others you radiate light and kindness to.
That no matter how unhappy others are, you wake up and sleep happy and full of love despite the things you don’t have, you won’t have and you have.

I hope y’all sleep tonight with a smile in your face and appreciate God and the people around you today and lastly, you wake up tomorrow with a big smile on your face with a lot of gratitude for being alive, and for the love you have. Be inspired and be an inspiration! Be blessed and be a blessing! Smile and let others smile with you, always! ^_^

Good night y’all! ❤ ❤ ❤

Mikee’s Musings: Hello, 2015!

I know at some point in my life I said “I am not going to love again” coz of the experiences in the past, the people I used to give my love to, the feelings and time I have wasted. That was me being immature and overwhelmed with the pains and emotions, let alone the broken promises and lies. I don’t know why I am saying all this but as the year starts, I feel the best is on it’s way anytime soon, in God’s perfect timing and will. Things are falling into places, I closed the book of 2014 with closure from the past which I greatly need; I can now move on with too much light in my heart and walk forward without that string attached to a very big rock of the past. I’ve outdone my past self! Yay! From the weaknesses to becoming strength and from sadness to greatness! To the people who haven’t moved on still, I really pity you and sorry but I am not sorry. I care less what you mobs say about me that are negative, we all are imperfect and you, just like anyone else commit mistakes. Don’t ask for people to get even, ask yourself if you in the first place have been even. 🙂

Year 2014 has been great and I submit that 2015 will be greater! Hopeful, grateful and keeping the faith of where life will lead this year. Will love myself more and share more, not because I have to but coz I want to. I will no longer chase love and will always know my worth.

I do not have resolutions but I have goals and dreams of the things I have to accomplish and do. More goals and dreams not for myself but for the family and for the future. I will continue to express myself through writing and be an inspiration to others. I won’t just dream but will work on them with more positive attitude and happy and loving heart. Yes, I am ready! Yes, I am claiming

Let the story of 2015 start!

Bring it on Daddy God!

Smile, Just Because.

It’s been quiet a while since I posted something from my own thoughts lately. Given the fact that I am not often online on my laptop like I used to since it got broken and I am not sure when I will have it fixed. Hahaha

I still have my daily updates of quotes scheduled whenever I have the time to use my cousin’s PC. That’s still something to be thankful for 🙂

Any who, it’s been crazy lately. Feeling flapdoodle and higgledy piggledy for days. I am not sure on what to feel… Well maybe not what to feel rather how to deal with the feels and the things around me. It’s like days of unending challenges and kinda but-wait-there’s-more-challenges-and-struggles-to-come-kinda-days I am dealing with. This week we celebrated Nanay’s birthday and ’twas oh-so-merry-kinda-day but hey, don’t get me wrong, I am grateful seeing nanay so happy and every one around us happy for her as well.

It’s just that you can’t skip those not so good days and here I am feeling overwhelmed. Too overwhelmed that it’s taken it’s toll on me and I am here lying on me bed sick.

Pfft! Despite and in spite of, this post isn’t about mumbling and grumbling on how bad my life is. This is just recognising the challenges and appreciating the blessings.

Thank you God for letting me experience all of these. I wouldn’t be able to understand life more and people more.
God revealed something to me this week, too the day before Nanay’s birthday. I know it was the least expected.. Wait, no. It wasnt expected actually but I never felt any objections nor harsh reactions rather questions. Those usual questions like: “why me?” and “what did I do to deserve all these?” kind of questions.

Ah! Bother.

Whatever will be, will be. I know God didn’t picked me for nothing. In His perfect timing. However I will not stress over it for now. I have learned not to worry too much on the future instead focus on today. The present. With a smile. Just because.

I have missed out a whole lot in the past so it’s time to loosen up and enjoy what the day brings.

I am on my fifth week on the “healthier me” journey and there have been improvements already. It’s not much but hey, at least there’s still something.

Hooray for today and the days to come! Yay!

And as for the matters the heart, I am still taking one day at a time and I am not settling any time soon with anyone just yet. Downside though, is that most guy friends I get to talk or communicate misinterprets me.

Please, pretty please.. Don’t mistake my sweetness and kindness to flirting. I am single and unattached but that doesn’t mean I am open for flirting. That’s not what I am here for. It’s not bad conversing and getting to know someone and who knows t might lead somewhere but please. Hahahaha

It just feels awkward. Getting this kind of response from a particular person and it gotten too much so I ended up not sending a reply back. Hahaha

Ah! Life. Hahahaha

I am really enjoying this journey of being single and not rushing. Although at times I question when will the person meant for me finally arrives? Bother. Haha

Thank God it’s Friday! Thank God I am alive! Thank God for the miracles and blessings. I am smiling, just because. 🙂

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Thinking Out Loud – Ed Sheeran

But, baby, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
Thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are

– Ed Sheeran, Thinking Out Loud

By far this is my fave track of Ed Sheeran’s X (Multiply) album.

This is a lyric video so enjoy!

I have actually a lot of things to share and blurt out but I am useless for words at the moment and decided to let this pass today and will probably spill it out some other days.

Hope y’all have a great weekend!

Cheers,

Mikee

An Open Letter to the People Who Hated Me From Ages Ago.

To whom it’s due:

I am not the kind of person who wishes people ill will.. but for whatever it’s worth, to the people who bad mouthed me, called me names; hated me, judged me and the family in the past, seeing your situation this very moment freed me from the hurt, hatred and gave me a whole lot of hope; not to mention forgiveness, too. I am not saying you deserve this, but I guess I am anyway. However, God will take care of everything. Nevertheless you are all accountable to the things you’ve done. Nature and the God-force will take care of you all.

I am not what you called me and labeled me. I am imperfect and I have flaws just like you. I have sinned, so do you. I may not have what you have but I have been blessed all these times. You will never be me as much as I will never ever be you. Do not compare yourself to me and stop comparing yourself to me as I am not you. I am unique and so are you. We all have reasons why we do the things we do but keep in mind that we do not have the same reasons and we do not have the same heart and mind. We do not have the same situation either. All of us are going through a lot but that doesn’t mean you have the right to demean and belittle others. I so have a lot of things to say but I will keep this short.

Apparently all of you are really choking on the sh*ts that you talked and worse, the things you told everyone about me and the family that were not true, those names you called me, those ways you hated about me, they’re all coming right back at you. Consequences are coming at you one day at a time. Other days, too slow but surely they are. I pray you’ll find your way out and seek God, find forgiveness, peace and love. I hope you learned from this experience, too.

All the best,

Mikee ☺