I feel so disconnected and don’t know who to turn to.. I need a good cry but I guess the person I can confide with is myself.


Day 67 of 365: Agony

dextIf I can write all these emotions and stress I have from the situation and challenges we are in right now, I might write a whole book about it. Tough times reveals true friends indeed. Only few cares, many just don’t.

It’s been tough weeks for me–for us, the whole family and for few people who cares. Nanay is sick and is currently at the hospital mending. She’s got pneumonia. These are the most agonizing, stressful and challenging days so far, seeing Nanay in pain and dealing with it wishing I was the one having it than her. We stayed home thinking and believing it’s just flu and cough but she’s getting worse by the day and decided to send her to the hospital. We did our best taking care of her at home but these home remedies and some medicine didn’t help so I had to do what’s best. Recalling the past days, I couldn’t believe myself dealing and getting through it. We’ve had so many sleepless nights, many heavy breathings and painful moments while I watch over Nanay in pain.. if I could take away the pain, I would. I wish. I am still keeping my head up, still trying to be strong even in most days and most nights, I’d like to break down and cry my heart out but I don’t have the energy. I have too many thoughts to share yet I can’t find the right words to say. I wish I can just even confide to someone but I can’t coz there’s no one to confide to. I kept things bottled up still but hopefully one day I’d let it all out. Writing/blogging helps, at least but it’s still different sharing it to humans. We’re still in struggle, financially for the most part. There are times I don’t know what to do but I just let go and let God. I am holding on to the hope and I still believe things will get better in time. Trust in God’s providence, they say. 🙂

We are in dire need of help.. Please include us in your prayers. Thank you 🙂