Bye April!

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It’s a wrap for April! I am officially 28! LOL

This has been a lovely month, fun-filled and bucket loads of challenges! Ah!

Thank you God for all the strength and courage! I couldn’t have done it without You, most of all.

There’s still a whole lot of thoughts left unsaid but I maybe some other time. 🙂

Hope y’all have a great month peepulz! God bless ♥

The Girl With A Thousand Faces :3

It’s been weeks, so yeah. LOL

I am in the mood for some “selfies” the other day, so pardon me for posting this.. well sorry I am not sorry actually. Ha!

Call me vain, insane and narcissistic, I don’t care. This is my blog anyway. 😛

Hope everyone’s having a lovely week! Happy humpday peepulz 😀

Walking Down Memory Lane

25 Minutes

After some time I’ve finally made up my mind
She is the girl and I really want to make her mine
I’m searching everywhere to find her again
To tell her I love her
And I’m sorry ’bout the things I’ve done

I find her standing in front of the church
The only place in town where I didn’t search
She looks so happy in her weddingdress
But she’s crying while she’s saying this

[Chorus:]
Boy I’ve missed your kisses all the time but this is
Twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I’m sorry your are
Twentyfive minutes too late

Against the wind I’m going home again
Wishing me back to the time when we were more than friends

But still I see her in front of the church
The only place in town where I didn’t search
She looked so happy in her weddingdress
But she cried while she was saying this

[Chorus:]
Boy I’ve missed your kisses all the time but this is
Twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I’m sorry your are
Twentyfive minutes too late

Out in the streets
Places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat
Inside my head
Still I can hear the words she said

[Chorus:]
Boy I’ve missed your kisses all the time but this is
Twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I’m sorry your are
Twentyfive minutes too late

I can still hear her say…

_____________________

I used to sing along to this when I was a lil kiddo. I remember singing my lil sister to sleep whilst bio mum was away.

I always loved listening and singing along to this song without understanding and knowing what it meant.

And when I grew older and mature, I then realised it’s a sad song.

Ah! Loads of thoughts in my mind at the moment and I am still waiting for myself to vent out. LOL

Hope everyone’s having a great day.

Keep safe peepulz 😀

Ghost of You

When Nanay turned the music on, this is the first song that played..

This doesn’t directly relate me to the ex rather to the past experiences.. especially those lovely times.

I’m not a downer today, it’s a lovely day and I am feeling great. Just feeling God’s grace and blessings overflowing despite the challenges these days.

Lovely week ahead peepulz!
I hope y’all feel God’s love everywhere! ♥

Breakups, Flashbacks and Hangups.

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Breakup.

To start with, I have Rachel Wolchin’s quote in connection with my feelings the past days. I am in the sorry-not-sorry state of mind. I knew somehow things has to end and it’s hard to explain all these things at once but this brings me back to my post: Have Enough Courage talking about gut feelings and instinct.

It’s when my mind, heart and my whole system shuts down and even though how hard I try to work it out, when my gut tells me something, I just can’t ignore it and it happens. It’s not baffling or something I do to hamper things from happening. It just happens. Gut feeling never failed me, not even one time rather I fail myself for not believing on it. Sometimes I try to push things and make it happen but eventually it all boils down a point where it ends.

It’s not just because I don’t want stress but it’s something more deeper than that.. something that I cannot express on here. God knows what.

It’s worth the try anyway, I never regret the decision I made, although a few times the past days, I did missed the things I used to do, but there’s nothing more than that.

It’s not that I am not attracted or I do not have feelings towards the person either but I have to rethink of my feelings. It’s not just the lack of the connection, there’s something more deeper than that.. and I know somehow there’s something deep inside me I need to fix. Something in depth that my own heart can’t explain either. I am not sure what but eventually I will get there.

 

Flashbacks.

I woke up in the midst of my sweet slumber last Thursday early morn from a nightmare.. well not really that bad dream but it was too random that I didn’t expected would ever show up and I’d dream of.

This lead me to some memories back in the days.. which stirred up a lot of emotions that’s supposedly long gone and or forgotten.  Ah! Why do we have to have these times? If only I have the power to make realities into dreams and or just let them vanish and be forgotten forever. But that’s not how things goes, I know. 😀

 

Hangups.

These are not the hang ups that’s just from the past relationship but generally from the past experiences. From family, friends, and men. LOL

All those pent up emotions, fears, what-nots, and keeping a great-wall-of-china on this heart. There are way more than one from what I have expected.. I need to let it all go. Like now now. I don’t know really.. I am kinda tired of this cycle though but I know I have to deal with it. Get through it eventually.

These were the things that made me cray cray the past days while looking after Nanay, too.

Ah! That roller coaster ride again 🙂

 

 

 

Reflections.

When I was young, I always thought there’s so much time in a day.. but as I get older, a day isn’t enough to do the things I needed to do and a day is too short to be with the people you want to share it with. Lastly, I can’t take things back, undo it, and there’s no more next time in reality.. one might say next time but present is different from the past neither the future. Life’s too short to waste my time spending each moment worrying about the things that’s not even there; whine and complain for what I don’t have and most of all, take things and people for granted. Thank you God for this day and for the days You let me share it with the people I care for; experience things and learn from it, and be a part of other people’s joy and sorrow. I offer and give it back to You. Praise and glory always be to You!

– MC

Happy Easter everyone 🙂