I was in a pensive mood last night, I slept late yet again and in between these mood and time, I felt like being suspended in space, I don’t know what space I was in but I ended up with these thoughts. There are a thousand more along which I still have with me but these are the most spot on at the moment.
This thoughts are what I call the 3amthoughts.. go figure. hahaha
I hope y’all are having a great week so far. 🙂
I need someone who won’t quit on me.
Someone who know how and when to fight.
Someone who will stay loyal and means what he says.
Someone who will love me dearly.
Someone who’s got a good heart,
who fights and who doesn’t just dream but work,
someone who encourages and uplift;
not put you down and discourage and who will give you a grip;
Someone who will listen,
but wait, maybe I am asking too much.
I just need someone who will be there for me.
Someone whom I will love deeply.
Someone who will stick, who won’t quit when sh*t gets rough.
Who will still stick with me even when the going gets tough.
Someone whom I will call home,
and at the end of the day, who won’t make me feel alone.
I wish, oh I wish.
I dream, yes I am dreaming again.
I don’t know if this will happen, the future is uncertain.
One day, someday. You’ll make it, I will meet you.
I will meet that someone. Soon.
‘”Maybe we will meet again when we are better for each other”
No, that line is such fucking bullshit
I loved you with every inch of my fucked up heart and you couldn’t love me back
I was in recovery
I still am and I will be for the rest of my life
So please, if it is three years from now and you see me on the street
Don’t come up to me in the hope that you could rekindle the fire you started in my bones
You left me when I needed you
When I was crying for you on the bathroom floor at 4am
And no matter how much time passes
You will never be enough for me
You will never aid my recovery
You will only hinder it
And so I’m sorry sweetheart
I have to let you go
Please know this isn’t temporary
This is real
I gave you what I had left
I know it wasn’t much
But you spat it back at me anyway
So please don’t have the audacity to think that time will erase that, we will never be enough for each other, we will never be better for each other
you were a lesson,
But I confused you for a soulmate. ― Ellis Jane Edwards’
This isn’t mine.. I just have to repost this as I wanna have a copy of it. It’s a beautiful poem 🙂
Baby, I Love You
There’s a lot of things I wanna say,
But I don’t know how to say it.
These are the words that I have been dying to say to you.
The longer I am keeping it,
the more it hurts and I don’t know what to do.
The kind of words that burns my heart like a fire that ain’t going down,
These words that I never tell to anyone, words I can only utter when no one is around.
I never got this close coz I am too afraid, I felt so alone.
What’s a girl to do? I need to let you know, but how? But here I go.
I wish I could’ve told you sooner, but I wasn’t sure how things are gonna go.
Somehow, I am aware you won’t fight for it coz I am far away,
So out of reach, yet you can hear me, see me but won’t be able to hold me or feel me.
So close yet so far, that’s how it is and I can’t do anything about it… yet.
But it is what it is and I am saying it out loud
I wanna say I love you, but I am terrified.
I don’t expect answers coz I am not asking you.
I love you, and yes it is true.
I love you, and I will always be here for you.
I wanna hold you, like never letting go.
That I dream of you and you don’t even know.
I wish that you’re feeling the same,
that you’re dreaming of me;
that you’re going crazy and you’re heart is burning, too.
Never mind, just leave things be.
It doesn’t really even matter if you, too love me.
One last time and here I go,
Baby, I love you.
I am tired of fighting, I wanna be fought for;
I am tired of waiting, I wanna be waited for.
I am tired caring, I wanna be cared for;
I am tired of loving, I wanna love and be loved in return.
I am tired of giving, I don’t wanna just give but also receive;
I am tired of living, I wanna be the reason why someone lives.
I am tired of being empty, I wanna be fueled up with love and compassion;
I am tired of sleeping by myself, I wanna wake up with someone beside me.
I am tired of frowning, I wanna smile like every day and be someone’s reason to smile;
I am tired of being alone, I wanna be yours ’til the end of time.
I Crave For You
For someone I haven’t met yet,
I crave for you in the most innocent form.
Sounds so cliche, just like the norm.
I crave to say good night and give you forehead kisses.
To love and be love, that kind of love everyone wishes.
I crave for that moment I will finally hold you,
Walk hand in hand, without motives, no demands.
My hands on your face, just feel that warm embrace.
I crave for the feeling of excitement,
you know, those feelings of butterfly in the tummy
fluttering intermittently with enchantment.
I crave for you in so many ways.
To look into your eyes and deep into your soul,
and know you feel the same,
that strong loving feeling you kept for so long.
I crave to hear that sweet sound of your voice,
to hear the ache, the longing, all those yearning when you’re missing.
I don’t know when that time will be,
I don’t know the future and it’s uncertainty.
But I know, I do crave for you and I will be here,
I will wait for you oh so patiently.
Until then, until the time I will meet you.
For someone whom I haven’t met yet, please oh please make it to me.
You jeopardize the good for something new
That’s what they told me
When I left you many moons ago
Little did they know, it wasn’t me, it someone else and I had to go.
Why exchange me for somebody?
Guess it really wasn’t meant to be
What does she have that I don’t?
Does she love you like the way I do?
Does she love you more than I gave you?
I hope she keeps you happy
Give you butterflies and make you high
I hope she keeps you warm at night
And never let these moments pass you by.
I wish you all the best
A fruitful life, full of happiness
A life with loyalty and faithfulness
A life with somebody whom you will never cheat.
This was a poem I made a few months back and posted it this time as I couldn’t have the time to post as much the past days.
This has nothing to do with the present feelings for those of you wondering 🙂
Suddenly I feel pain crawling inside my heart and I just wanted to cry..
Cry until I’ve got nothing to cry for.
Cry until I get tired of crying.
Cry until there’s no more tears to shed.
That pain.. an agonizing pain I can’t fathom where it came from.
It enveloped all over my heart and makes me want to cry.
Oh God! Why is this happening?
What was I feeling?
All along, I was thinking he’d fight for me,
for this love, for eternity.
Boy, was I wrong.
If only he’ll just tell me.
If only he knows how much I longed for him, missed him.
If only he’d stop pretending he’s okay with things..
If only he’d know how much I’ve been wishing he’d just humble down for once and let this love fix every thing.
I have laid all my cards and gave him hints, but he.. he kept on pushing.
Pushing me farther away.
And if only he’s here and not so far away, I’d let him know..
I’ll grab him and hug him and kiss his pains and it will go.
I never thought this love will end..
Somehow, somewhere, I hope this isn’t the end.
I hope this is just the beginning.
And more, I pray this pain will subside albeit I am not sure for how long.
I still believe in things and still hanging on a hope,
but whatever God’s plan is, I’ll keep holding on to that rope.
I believe and still believe in LOVE and the power of it.
And whatever is meant to be, will always finds it’s way.
Paulit – ulit
Bakit kaya ganun?
‘Di ba pwedeng isang beses lang?
Nakakaumay na kasi eh.
Paulit-ulit kang nasasaktan.
Kailangan ba talaga yun?
Hindi ba pwedeng magmahal ka nalang at wala na ang sakit?
Sabi nila, hindi ka raw nagmamahal kung hindi ka nakakaramdam ng sakit.
Hindi ba pwedeng magmahal ka nalang?
Yung wala na ang sakit?
Kung pwede lang sana.
Sana wala na at hindi na paulit-ulit.
It was one cozy afternoon
You and I we were so over the moon.
Out of the blue you blurted, ” Who is she? She look so lovely!”
I just ignored and let that pass, deep inside I know.
My gut tells me to prepare myself, that one day you will go.
Those warm and damp kisses turned out dry and cold.
That spark in your eyes is always a sight to behold.
Oh, how I love the way you looked at me and suddenly it became empty.
Magic is gone, I think we are done.
What have become of us?
We are slowly fading; falling into a very deep hole.
The love that I used to call home, it felt different now, I feel so alone.
Those sweet loving words that gave me butterflies and make me high,
it came too bitter, too spiteful it made me cry.
What has become of this love?
My heaven on earth which used to be my paradise
is now lost in vast abysses of space and time.
I always thought this is just a test;
a challenge to surpass.
Something we all have to go through,
for that very love to last.
But no, this is it. This is the end.
My heart can no longer take the pain,
this goodbye, I can no longer bend.
Time for me to go, time to let it go.
Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend.