Something to share.
Have a lovely day peepulz 🙂
Something to share.
Have a lovely day peepulz 🙂
Sometimes what we wanted is not always what we needed.
It’s been a while! A lot have happened and I can’t enumerate all of them at once. I never had the moxie to post but I never stopped being enamoured with life’s beauty and absurdity.
I have been blessed all my life and even loving life more and more. Life has never been better as days passed and the whole time I was silent, things made sense all the more.
God taught me a lot, from the smallest to the biggest details of this very life. The realisation that the things I have always wanted are not the same things I needed, and that applies to all aspects of life, not just material things, career, family or relationships.
This mending phase that I am going through isn’t just about mending but it seemed to me as an overhaul. And I am proud to say I am making progress! Yay!
I let go of some things just recently and I never had any difficulty dealing with it. Things or words never hurt me as much as it hurts before. There may be things that take its toll out of me, pissed me and got into my nerves but it never lasted that long. Thank you God for all of these!
Curtains are open and another chapter of life has just begun
God took away the people and the things because they were not what I needed, they were the only ones God used as an instrument to make me become a better person than I used to be, person more loving, understanding and more humble than I once was. God prepared me for the best!
Wherever this journey may lead, to You, God I offer and lift this up. Let Your will be done!
Grateful I am experiencing these and feeling these lovely feelings! Until next time, have a lovely day peepulz!
Music and lyrics by: Manoling Francisco, SJ
Arrangement: Paulo K Tirol
Soloist: Leanne Laudico-Arcinue
With You, I am always with You,
You hold me tight, Your hand in mine.
You bring all things to a good end,
You lead me on in Your good pleasure.
What is heaven to me without You?
Where am I on earth if You are not there?
Though my body is broken down,
Though my heart dies, You are my rock,
My God, the Future that waits for me.
Far away from You, life is not life.
To break faith with You is to be no one.
It’s been two weeks! Two weeks of being silent. A lot has happened.. weird in a good way, and most, it’s freaking me out! Woo to the hoo!
I was not as motivated as I was so I just chose to be silent.. but it doesn’t mean that things are not good.. Things are way better, and it’s getting better all the more!
Thank you God for this lovely life!
Thank you for the blessings and for the gift of life.
Glory and honour be to You!
For every single citizen of the world who have extended their help to Haiyan (Yolanda) victims, Philippines says Thank you!
To the Philippine DOT or Department of Tourism and to everyone who made this video, thanks to you, too.
It’s been three months, yet there have been a lot of improvements.. it may not be the whole area but surely there were towns that were rebuilt and aids are still pouring.
Words are not enough to extend our deepest gratitude to you but praying and hoping that God will bless you more and more and may you also be a blessing to others all the more, too 🙂
Thank you, WORLD! 😀
Kinda frustrating to some but not for me. Well not as much as others though. It’s a flappy bird kind of Friday for I am not feeling 100% and feeling like I’ve hit my head a few times on the pipe. 😀
Anyways, internet connection is back today, thank goodness. It’s been a while (two days) and it felt like forever! LOL. I am not really hooked hey? Well most of my friends, I get to connect with them through internet and talk to them on Skype, Facebook and well ventilate out mostly on here. I kinda miss them, too 😀
Thankful for the experiences I had while not having internet in a way. I cleaned up my room and gave a wee makeover. It doesn’t look great just like before the floods came but it’s not that bad either. 🙂
Enjoyed few laughs with family and thank you to friends who checked out on me while I was “away” or “silent”.
I don’t know.. I wish I have a lot to say.. but my brain’s limited today. Gah!
Just popping out to say Hello World! 😀
Seeyuz peepulz 😀
First of all, let it be known here and now that I did love you. I was only ever cold to you that one time because I cared too much. I didn’t know how I was supposed to act when you heightened such a keen sense of passion in me. I could never think normally when I was around you. Some say that infatuation is different from love but what I felt for you bordered in between. I loved you despite your faults but I also crushed on you like you were the best thing since coffee. You woke me up. You did wake me up.
I was raised by vintage Harlequin books that I used to secretly read when my parents weren’t around. I used to believe that love was breath-taking, consuming and potent – it was all these things and more. Love has the ability to break you down like a mere puzzle piece. You thought you were a complete picture. That you have everything figured out. Here I come, world, be ready because I am here to face you. But one person can come into your life and make you rethink everything. And I mean everything.
They will make you ask questions that you never dreamed of before. They will make you want to be better- be someone they would never dream of leaving. They will make you cling to them like a life raft, how can you live without them now when you couldn’t even imagine how life was before you met them?
Here comes the kick: “It’s not you, it’s me”. I could kick myself for using that line. How original can I get? But it couldn’t be any truer. I loved everything about you but I hate everything that I am becoming because of these feelings I harbour for you. I’ve become someone who’s constantly afraid of fucking up because I just can’t imagine losing you that I have lost myself in this process of wanting to be yours.
I want to be the person who sees how the morning light touches your face while you’re still sleeping peacefully. I want to hold your hand. I want to take silent walks with you wherein we don’t even need to talk. I loved the totality of your person but I just don’t like me anymore.
I know that loss is bound to happen but I just can’t get the fear out of my head. You might think that I am departing because I don’t want to lose you. That is partly true. But really, I am leaving because I’m losing me.
I wish you the best in life. Truly, I do. Nothing would make me happier than to see you happy even if I am not a part of your happiness. Make music. Live the life you want to live. You deserve nothing less than genuine happiness. Maybe someday you’ll meet a person worthy of you. And maybe I’ll meet one worthy of me too.
Maybe someday, we’ll meet again and realize that we were always meant to be but we just met when the timing wasn’t right. Maybe we could try again. And we can finally take that walk.
“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”
Thought of sharing something tonight before I hit the sack.
I had my gut feeling and instincts doing their own thing just recently. It’s that time when I thought that something’s great and worth trying, something special is going on and things will last or will work out, but both “gut” and “ins” would then get in the way and crash my heart and my head and remind me to think deeply and logically.. weigh things, pray and discern.. and eventually it’s up to me to decide to whether I’ll stop and move on or choose the other way around and make a fool out of myself.
It’s a fine line between reality and wishful thinking, mind over matter kind-of-thing.
I’ve trusted these feelings when I felt it years ago and didn’t follow what “gut” and “ins” wanted me to do and end up humiliating myself to many.. and that didn’t just happened once, but heaps. LOL.
So yeah, it’s on again.. but decided to just leave things be.. besides there’s nothing to lose.
I have heaps of courage still so I’ll just give it a go and will take a leap of faith. No matter where life will take me, we’ll see. Besides, I will never know unless I will try, right?
We’ll see how it goes. 🙂
Goodnight WordPress! Seeyuz! 🙂
Well hello there, February!
It’s the first day of the love month, February and may this be a reminder to not just appreciate our loved ones every Valentine’s Day but remember to love them and appreciate them every single day, in every little way. 🙂
Remember to thank Saint Valentine’s, too and most, thank God!
It’s also a reminder for me to love myself more, which I am doing these days.. Yay! Woke up feeling great today! Thank you God. Thanks for the things that I am going through and been through. I can’t thank you enough for all of the blessings You bestowed upon me. I may be feeling lil down at times but I know You’re always there, and what I am dealing with these days are for my own sake and for my own good.
Thank you for letting me feel the pain, it may not be equal to the pain You’re dealing with every day especially dealing with Your hard headed children all around the globe. For those who throw the blame on you for what’s going on with their lives. LOL.
Kidding aside, I know for sure You’re into something. Something best than what I had in the past.. something extravagant, something extraordinary 🙂
I entrust everything to You, letting it go and letting You. Just guide me and lead me what I should do and how to do it, as I will rectify that.
Woo to the hoo! I can feel my heartbeat reverberating! Yikes!
To God be the glory!
Blessed day y’all! 😀
In the end all you can hope for is the love you felt to equal the pain you’ve gone through.
Where will I start? It seems I have so much to catch up on here.. Time flew fast that it was just like yesterday we celebrated New Year. 31days passed..
Gone through a storm, I can’t imagine how we’d survive those days, the agonies of walking here and there with water everywhere. Surpassed two floods this month, which both lasted for a week. Wow. Howzat?!
It was a whole lot of journey. It felt like yesterday I was crying my heart out, watching the family walk in the water.. all those frustrations and hopelessness along with all the mixed feelings from the challenges we’ve been through.
People might have seen me flashing smiles from time to time but deep inside I felt ripped, torn and shattered. And those days I have become silent, all those mending stuff was not about someone or something but mainly a battle of me, myself and I.
All along I thought I was completely over with something, that I finally moved. I was making a complete fool out of myself. Then BAM! Nanay poked me right into the head with her words. Like the usual. LOL.
So there, I had to process myself and accept reality.. I need to let go, I need to move forward. For real, with actions, not just words.
I didn’t know where to start.. went through tough days, it was like I was being teased by time, by some force. Pushing my limits and tested me until when I will blow up. I had days where I just go to my room and scream silently and just shed tears for myself. Dang!
Took things one day at a time, one step at a time.. why do I need to learn things the hard way?! Why!?
Letting go is not just about wanting to forget what you need to forget, but also accepting reality. The reality that things have changed. That this is reality. Where I am and who I am with is reality. That I had to deal with reality.
The path is clearer these days, I’ve gotten rid of the people that gave me negative energies.. those people that dragged me down instead of lifting me up. Changed some routines of how I do things, and at some point, it was helpful. When I got used to it, I switched back to the old ways and finally realised that it doesn’t hurt anymore. That pain I used to feel is not there anymore.. I am getting there, two steps forward, one step back.
This process isn’t just about the past but of how I am, how I have become over those years, of how much I have changed and turned to someone I was not; how I perceive things and my attitude towards things. This battle isn’t just about the past relationship. Don’t get me wrong, yes, I am imperfect and I am flawed but that doesn’t mean that’s that. I need to change myself, too. I can’t stay that way forever.. I need to change not for anyone but for myself.
I have lost my moxie for quiet a while.. I have been feeling uninspired the whole time. There were times that I was but it was something like it’s only in the surface.. I wanna be inspired, soul depth. Not just feel it for some time.. I wanna be for a lifetime. Genuinely inspired. 🙂
I have had emails and messages from friends that I haven’t given any response.. yet. Pardon me for doing such, I didn’t mean to do that.. it’s just that I can’t find the energy to read all of it. Not that I am ignoring you and being rude but it’s just that. It’s just so hard to explain.
Oddly enough, God sent some people aside from family to help me process, too.. but hoping that it’s not just for this time.. I hope they’ll stay for long.
I stopped chasing love, too. I felt too tired and fed up believing that there’s one for me on the contrary I miss the feeling of loving and being loved in return. Feeling discombobulated! LOL.
That moment I ask myself.. will I be able to trust a man fully after what’s happened? Will I ever have the time to tell the world I am in love with someone and he feels the same way, too!? I wish. I want to but it still scares me to bits. Big time. Too afraid to be abandoned and rejected.. but maybe, just maybe when the right person comes, I won’t feel that. Maybe. That’s just a hunch. Assumptions yet again. LOL.
Also, I hope to find someone whom I really can connect with.. not just physically but mentally and emotionally. Not just someone who’s attracted to me only on the surface and then the next day he’s stopped communicating because he don’t feel the same way. I don’t want to be an option, just like how it was before. I wanna be someone’s choice. Only choice. 🙂
Ah! That time of the day. Feeling good at the same time, feeling down. System’s not just in sync.. screw’s too loose! 😛
There you go, this might be enough for now.. I am feeling better anyway. There’s so much to share but I can’t think of anything more. It’s 30minutes past midnight.. and supposedly in bed getting some rest. Oh well. Time for beddybyes!
Good night y’all 🙂